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#112 kelly mcgonigal

Update: I wrote this last night and this morning I feeling anxiety. I feel my brain not shutting down. So I am going to meditate, listen to show tunes, read a book and try my best to turn that negativity off. I will be fine

Kelly McGonigal (the psychologist I am referring to today)

My trainer, Kim, sent me a video about why the body needs to move and how it effects our mental health. Anything Kim sends me, I truly appreciate. She is so special and I am so grateful for her.

I will post the link to the video on here. Feel free to check it out.

Basically, the psychologist argues that movement is a part of being human and we were made to move. Movement has shown to cure depression, anxiety and fear. Personally, Kim has saved me during some very dark days and she didn’t even know it. But, being in her gym…doing her program for one hour..helped my brain shut off. My brain is always going except when I am working out with her. It truly is a meditation for me and honestly, it is fun. I consider my time with Kim to be therapy for my mind, body and soul.

She also mentioned how she teaches people about compassion and one of her biggest lessons is how to listen. She said most people listen with their mouths and I laughed at this part. Some times when I am listening to people …I am asked if I am listening because I am not saying anything…and I always reply saying…well, I want to listen so…why would I interrupt. I learned this from people never listening to me LOL. People tend to want to give advice or jump in which was exactly what this psychologist said. I think it usually comes from a place of “I want to let you know that I understand so I am going to share my story.” I know I am guilty of this. I want my loved ones to know that I understand where they are coming from so I share something similar to help us connect on that topic. Does that make sense? But, I have learned..that it shouldn’t be about me. People just need to talk sometimes and they just want to be heard without any judgement. The psychologist teaches people how to listen with their hearts. She tells them to imagine their ears are next to their hearts.

She goes on to explain that if we all saw each other as humans that just want to be understood then their would be less problems.

I agree with this. My best friend always tells me…”Frshta, I am not here to judge you..and I understand that this is the way you feel.” I don’t know how she is such a fucking genius. She has been telling me this for ten years and I have mentioned in previous post how she has taught me so much about being an understanding person. It’s true..at the end of the day..people just want to be heard and understood.

Another thing that tripped me out the other day…I had lunch with a friend who has been going through some personal things. We have both been struggling with our next step in life. I explained to her the importance of being present and how I am trying to slow down. I was basically telling her about my “slow down” (https://frshta.com/2020/02/04/110-slow-down/) blog that I posted this week. I expressed how I want to stop going through the motions of life and she agreed. She was thinking the same thing and really wants to be intentional with everything. I suggested meditation even though its very hard.

Right after this conversation, I had a business/information phone call with a random business owner. I asked him what his best advice is at the end of our conversation. He said do you practice yoga or meditating and I said yeah..sometimes. He said that is great because the biggest mistake in my life was not living in the moment. He said that he is 50years old now and he finally get it. He wished he could have done thing in his early years. He expressed that all he really worried about was whats going to be next instead of just enjoying the moment.

BRAIN BLAST….

So crazy that a stranger was telling me this when I have been trying to implement this to my life. I think that was Allah showing me that I am on the right track.

You know, I don’t want to jinx myself but I have been feeling super good lately. I have genuine moments where I just smile for no reason. I think the biggest change is my productivity level. Hitting the gym five to six days a week has made a difference. Hence, movement matters. Trying to accomplish something everyday and being productive has helped tremendously and honestly, taking it day by day has made it even simpler. I think the biggest thing I have learned is that Allah has blessed me with so much already…so why am I asking for more? Also, Allah won’t show me the way because I have free will…instead I need to move and put my faith in Allah no matter what I do.

A man told the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) that he will not tie his camel because he has faith in Allah but the Prophet said…no, you must tie your camel and still put your faith in Allah. What is this saying? You need to do your part along with God. As humans we don’t even have the mental capacity to understand what God even means or does. So who are we to even question it?

I feel like …my brain has a lot going on right now and I feel inspired to do a lot but that’s how I get overwhelmed. So I am going to make my list…and take it day by day and cross things off.

To EVERY single person that has been reading my blog…thank you, thank you, thank you. My views have been getting a little better…and it just makes my heart smile. I promise to try to keep writing and to be better at it.

God Bless.

~Frshta

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