The first time Yama got drunk in the house was in his mid 20s. It isn’t very common to drink in the house in our culture or religion especially in front of your elders. Yama had his friends over and they had some drinks. Yama drank in secret but he got super drunk and vomited all over the place. My mom was shaking with anger and told my father to handle it. But, my dad didn’t handle it. He told my mom that is better to drink at home then out in a bar. It is safer at home but that was my father’s mistake. Because after a while, Yama lost his respect for his family and he would always think at home. The worst part is…that his drinking partners were his dad, uncles and Omar.
Every family party would end up with the men sitting in the back yard drinking and getting drunk out of their asses. No. It wasn’t fun for any of the kids or the women. My mom would host a lot of the holiday parties but at some point..she stopped. It would get out of hand and Yama started to drink very heavily. I have such horrible memories of the holidays because all I remember is drunk men acting like idiots.
I remember the first time I saw Yama drinking. I saw him drink a beer..it was a corona…with his best friend who was at our house one day. I told my mom and she said she will look into it. I know you must be thinking…so what if he drinks…as long as he is legal…but in our culture it is a great dishonor to drink.
Yama and dad did not have the best relationship but they did drink together.
It wasn’t always bad but like they say…never do business with family.
Yama bought the liquor store with our father but they were not good business partners. They always clashed. Most of the time it was a pride issue.
My dad is not an easy person to get along with and he has all of this pride.
Anyways, we would sit as a family at night when everyone came home from work to chat but it would usually end in some horrible argument. Yama and dad would get into arguments and it would escalate to the point that the cops would show up. They even injured each other. No one would get arrested but it was bad.
I am a firm believer that even when your mad …you should never curse anyone…but my dad is the exact opposite.
One night I woke up to yelling and screaming. I ran to the living room to find my dad and Yama in the back yard in a full on physical fight. My dad went to get the shovel and hit Yama hard on the leg. Yama’s leg was bleeding badly. We called the cops who basically said it was a family matter and that they need to calm down, The neighbors even heard them arguing in the streets. How embarrassing.
The house belonged to my father but it was under Yama’s name so Yama kicked my dad out of his own home.My dad packed all of us and his wife in the car and drove off. He sat in the car with four youngest and started to curse Yama from his heart. He said “Oh Allah I pray that you take his life…I pray that you put him in the ground..” He kept going for a while and there was no stopping him. You might be thinking that…there just words…but when you put that energy out into the world..things happen and I am a first hand witness to that.
Also, in Islam, parents are highly respected and your suppose to honor them.
Well, we ended up going back home that night. Yama was drunk and took the Holy Quran out and begged my mom to come back home. It is already a sin to hold the Holy Quran while your in intoxicated. It was a horrible night.
Dad and Yama got over it eventually. I think this was their worst fight but they were both bad at business and even worse partners.
Dad would argue with my mom that Yama is always drunk ….and my mom would say…well, you should have never become his drinking buddy…maybe he would still have respect for you.
Unfortunately, my dad couldn’t take his words back and when his son died…the entire family remembered that night when dad cursed his first born. Honestly, I don’t know if my dad feels guilt for what he said….but I know my grandmother and my mom have reminded him of his words many times.