I am officially 29 and I can’t control my excitement….just kidding. I am one year away from the big three zero…aka 30!
I spent the night before my birthday reminiscing about my life so far. Where did all the time go?
Recently, I watched the show The Crown. I was mesmerized by Princess Margaret during her youth. On her 25th birthday ( I think), the princess was taking her birthday portrait. She was wearing this big fluffy dress and looked amazing in the most royal way possible. Yet, she was not satisfied with her dress or the setting or the look. It did not represent who she was or what she was about. She rebelled! She was photographed by her soon to be love interest, Tony. He was exciting, different and mysterious. Of course who wouldn’t fancy a bad boy on a motor cycle, who had a sensitive side, which is his art? The tension between the two was hypnotizing. I rewatched the scene where Princess Margaret was being photographed many times. She was stunning. The lighting was spot on. Her photo was worth a thousand words.
I was intrigued by the concept of a birthday photo. I decided I wanted a birthday portrait from now on too. I am starting a little late but I am sure I can go back and find a photo that represents each year of my life. I went in circles in my mind about how I wanted to be represented for my 29th birthday portrait. Originally, I wanted a farm theme. I would lay on some hay in a fancy dress with all my chicks running around. Unfortunately, it was hard making time.
So there I was, June 4th..the eve of my birthday without a birthday portrait.
It was 11pm on Friday night. I dusted off my tripod and closed my red curtains. I picked up my lamp and I started messing around with lighting. Lighting is truly everything. After, I decided to wear my pearls like the royal family and a simple black top. As ambitious as I wanted the photo to be…I settled for the exact opposite…simplicity. I took about fifteen shots and one video. It was fun.
June 5th came and I had my birthday portrait, which I shared with a few. It was one of the most memorable aspects of my birthday this year. It was fun, creative and inspiring. I was proud of myself for actually doing it. I spend a lot of time talking about what I want to do but I never actually do it for a million reasons.
I hope you enjoy my birthday portrait! Here it is!
I usually spend my birthday with the same group of friends and family ever year. This year it was different. The weekend was filled with good food, new experiences and a bit of melancholy.
Highlight of my birthday weekend!
More baby chicks hatched! Hot Motha Klucker and the new Rugrats series! Coffee and beach walks with my birth giver. Brunch with a few family members. Horse back riding with my best friend. My first time on a horse! His name was Star. Don Cuco! Brunch with some girlfriends and some great conversation. A great session of therapy! Horror movies, popcorn and milk and berries cake from Portos! Yum! Feeling so loved and so blessed. A bunch of customers sang to me and my coworkers brought me a cake. It was such a different birthday but it was a ton of fun. Grateful for all of those who wished me Happy Birthday and planned a surprise to make me feel special. Thank you.
I am not going to lie. It wasn’t all butterflies. There was a point on my birthday where I felt super depressed. I wanted my mommy and daddy. I am a year older and yet so are day. I started having my morbid thoughts again but I did my best to stay present. I did my best to not let the thoughts control me.
On Sunday night, as I was driving home, I felt so happy and that scared me. I thought how will the universe conspire against my happiness. It’s like I am not allowed to be happy and if I am..well, get ready for something bad to happen. I am working on it though! Promise! I let my therapist know about all my thoughts and it was a great session!
28 was a year of personal growth. I am still trying to figure it out so I will just leave it at that. I am thankful to be alive.