I am tired.
I had no idea what to blog about this week until just about three hours ago. I was drawing a blank. I had an eventful weekend selling handmade tote bags at the Rose Bowl but not enough to feel inspired to write.
Then I went to my second job, and in the middle of our dinner rush, my manager pulled me aside. The restaurant had received a new Yelp review. My name was not included in the review, but one of the managers confirmed it was one of my guests from a week ago. Immediately, it came back to me. Last week, my last table on a Thursday was two men. The entire night they were making sexist remarks, but I paid no attention to it. I can’t remember how exactly the conversation went to politics, but it did. Somehow Trump came up, and both of these men were huge Trump supporters. I have no problem with this. I’ve meant a lot of Trump supporters at my job therefore this isn’t something that disturbs me. I just let them know that I wasn’t a Trump supporter because I don’t believe in his ideologies. I explained that the first thing he did was ban Muslims from America and as a Muslim this made me feel uncomfortable. One of the men, who was Hispanic, said ” well, I am a conservative Christian, and although Muslim people are nice…I agree with the ban. I was happy with the Muslim ban. The Quran is one of the most violent books out there.” I was shocked to hear this, but it was fine. He continued on about the Holy Trinity and how our God’s are different. I tried to explain that we should look at our similarities instead of our differences but he wasn’t having it. He kept going about how horrible Islam is. I thanked him and let my manager know what happened. He wasn’t necessarily rude to me but he did scare me. I left thinking that these people might attack me or something. I tried to move on until tonight when I read their review. In their review, they said the waitress was nice but did a horrible job. They had told me the food was great that night so this was a surprise. What bothered me was that a week later, he wrote a review. I was on his mind for an entire week. This frightened me. So tonight, as I was rushing from table to table, my mind was with this review. I wish I could write a review on customers sometimes.
My parents have told me to not disclose my religion or ethnicity since the 9/11 attacks. As an adult, I have never been ashamed of my heritage or my religion. It’s part of my story.
These people made me feel like I should hide my heritage and my religion. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. More than that, I thought about how I want to open a business…would people support my business if they knew I was Muslim? Will these men kidnap me? Maybe I should hide it. Is that why it didn’t work in the film industry? I hope they don’t kidnap me because they were odd.
Side Note: The crew members from the film industry might be going on strike. I can’t help but feel bitter because of my own experiences. Long hours, shit pay, no time for family and if you questioned it..they would say “you have to love it enough.” I hope one day I write my experience down and share it with you all.
Should I hide from now on?
Anyways, those are my thoughts tonight.
Thank you for reading. Stay safe out there.